A Newsworthy Week in Aviation

It's been an interesting week in aviation.

First there was the Southwest decompression that occurred after the loss of a large part of the fuselage. The crew managed to land the plane safety at an air force base and by all passenger accounts both the pilots and flight attendants dealth with the situation in a textbook manner.



The incident has now sparked a massive inspection regime ordered by the manufacturer of Boeing 737 aircraft of a certain age and model type due to fears of further metal fatigue.

(I do disagree with the use of the term "sucked out" in the article; more accurately, people would be "pushed out" by the flow of departing air)

Then we had the dramatic landing of a United airlines flight after the pilots reported smoke in the cockpit. Eventually, air traffic controllers had to assist the aircraft by verbally guiding them to the airport, as the pilots could not see well enough to land. All passengers and crew onboard were evacuated after the aircraft made a safe (if somewhat hair-raising) landing back at New Orleans airport.

In a disturbing twist, the preliminary report into the crash of a UPS cargo plane in Dubai last year was published by the GCAA, aviation authority of the UAE. This flight also suffered issues with smoke in the cockpit & visibility of instruments. The report makes sobering reading, with a few key points being:

- Emergency oxygen systems were inadequate

- The captain was forced out of the cockpit to find alternative oxygen at a critical phase of flight

- An extremely short amount of time between the flight recorder noting the first 'fire event' in the forward main deck, and then three minutes later, a 'fire event' in the aft of the main deck cargo area. That is very rapid & sad to say probably an impossible situation for those pilots.

(You can read the full PDF file of the report here.)

Thankfully the United pilots had the advantage of daylight and the correct radio frequency to be able to communicate with air traffic control. The UPS crew could not tune to change frequency and thus had to rely on other aircraft in the area to relay messages.

The crash has also highlighted shortfalls in packing & shipping guidelines for lithium batteries, something which was of concern prior to the accident, and even moreso now. The abundance of these batteries for sale at online auction websites is no doubt adding to the problem, with many sellers totally unaware that some everyday goods are actually classified as hazardous for carriage by air.

Lastly, in an unexpected yet welcome development, investigators have uncovered further wreckage from Air France flight 447, which disappeared nearly two years ago amid speculaton and mystery as to the cause.



Hopefully this new development will finally yield the black boxes and the answers the aviation industry has been waiting for with bated breath. Once and for all we will know if it was the weather, the aircraft or something else entirely which led to the loss of the plane and all on board.

PHOTOS: SWA- AP/Ross D. Franklin, AF447- Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute

Babies on the Plane

Flying has kept me super-busy lately, but in between my trips I had the pleasure of participating in the third episode of the Crew Lounge Podcast, which is a talk-show type panel of flight attendants talking about current issues in the airline industry & taking questions from the cabin. TCL is run by Bobby of Up, Up and a Gay and Sara Keagle of the Flying Pinto blog. This week's episode included Sky High Boy and Jen.

If you haven't already checked out the first episodes of TCL, go do it, I am sure you will love it. (But not until you've read this post first ;)

One of the topics that came up during our disccussion was the use (or non-use, as the case may be) of a device called an infant extension seat belt.

Basically, this is a seatbelt designed to be used by lap-held children up to the age of 2 when travelling in aircraft. This device is known as an 'infant/extension seatbelt' in Australia as it is a combination seatbelt- it can be used both as an extender for larger passengers, or to restrain a lap-held infant in flight.

The infant seatbelt is described as follows:

A device known as a “supplementary loop belt” provides an additional seat belt with stitched loops through which the adult seat belt is passed. The adult belt is fastened around the adult, and the additional belt is then separately fastened around the infant.

A picture will probably give you a better idea of what it looks like. (I have had some difficulty finding a photo, and the ones I have were lost in a computer crash last year). Once combined with the adult seatbelt, it forms a figure-8 like shape.

This seatbelt must be used for take-off, landing and in turbulence, or whenever the seatbelt sign is illuminated. Here is a baby in the seatbelt. Feeding & nursing can still take place when using this type of seatbelt.


Now here's where the confusion for travelling parents comes in. Different aviation authorities in various countries each have their own views on the use of these infant seatbelts. During the latest Crew Lounge podcast, it was discussed that these seatbelts are not mandated for use in the US or Canada. The view of the FAA is that having a child held on the lap by the parent is the safest method.

Picture showing the recommended brace position for parents with nursed infants:


However, the Civil Aviation Safety Authority of Australia holds the opinion that using the infant seatbelt provides the most protection in the event of sudden stoppage (e.g. the loads experienced during aborted takeoff) or in turbulence. However, they do make note of the fact that infant seatbelts provide limited protection in a crash compared to a child seat, and go on to say that a car seat or child restraint (such as the CARES child harness) is the best possible means of restraining a child or baby in-flight.
(From Civil Aviation Advisory Publication 235-2(1))

Where the trouble occurs is when families take multiple flights through countries having jurisdiction of varying agencies. For example, you might fly a US-based carrier to Sydney, then take a domestic Australian airline to Darwin. On the first leg of your journey, holding the baby on your lap (without any type of restraint or seatbelt) is acceptable and complies with the laws of the US. However, travelling from Sydney to Darwin, you would find that you would be required to make use of the infant seatbelt. This is mandated by the Civil Aviation Regulations and is not a negotiable option or choice for parents.

Generally, the laws of the country of registration of the aircraft you are flying in apply. I think this is where our flying family (mentioned in the Questions From the Cabin on Crew Lounge podcast #3) ran into problems. If you're unsure which rules apply to your flight, be sure to check with the airline/s concerned well before your flight. Even if a car seat/harness is allowed by law, the cabin crew still have the final say onboard the aircraft. If there is any doubt as to the integrity or safety of your device, you may be asked not to use it.

If you do want to play it safe and take a car seat, be aware that not all airlines allow car seats or child restraint systems. Check with your airline and also ensure what is included in your baggage allowance should you be required to check the car seat in.

For quick reference, I have compiled a list of Australian airlines and which allow the use of car seats. Again, be sure to mention your car seat when booking and check if your specific seat model is allowed by that airline.

AIRLINE CAR SEATS ALLOWED?
Tiger Airways NO
Virgin/Pacific Blue NO
Qantas YES
Jetstar YES
REX YES
Skywest YES
Qantaslink CHECK WITH RES

If you have any questions about car seats, travelling with babies & children, or anything else about flying- feel free to leave a comment or chase me up on Twitter!

And Baby Makes Fee...

With all the extra fees being added on to airline tickets these days, it seems that everyone is looking to get the best deal. (Aside from the fact that booking a lo-co ticket is always going to mean 'add-on' fees)

One area where this seems to be the case is parents travelling with babies. I was researching other subjects but came across some information which prompted me to write this post.

It seems that some parents are reluctant to cough up the extra cash to buy another seat and bring a baby seat on the plane with them. With airfares getting cheaper and cheaper, I just don't understand this. It's like saying, the baby seat weighs more so the car uses more petrol, let's not bother with that today'. If you wouldn't take your baby in the car unrestrained, then you definitely shouldn't be flying with it unrestrained, either.

In Australia, the laws require lap-held children up to the age of 2 years to make use of the infant seat belt. Parents may also take the option of buying another seat for a car seat for the child. There are certain devices out there, designed by US companies, for use in the United States, that can be used for older childen, or in once case used by babies as well. The thing to remember with these gadgets is, they may not be approved for use in countries outside of the US. For example, the Baby B'Air would not be allowed on Australian carriers, because the law mandates use of the infant seat belt. It doesn't matter that you prefer your own device, or that 'I can hold onto my baby'- the law says the seatbelt must be used, and baby could be on the ceiling before you even know there is turbulence! So it pays to check where your device can and can't be used.

(For the record, the CARES child restraint harness can be used on most Australian carriers)

Here's a few other "travel don'ts" when you're in the air with kids:

1. DON'T expect flight crew to babysit, clean up after or otherwise provide for your children. Most of the time, we're happy to help, but as a parent, your child is your responsibility. Have extra snacks on hand, just in case your child doesn't like the airline food. Bring plenty of milk or formula if that is what they drink- we have limited milk supplies and usually no formula on board and delays do happen.

I remember being extrememly disgusted with one father when he was more interested in finishing his Jack & Coke than cleaning up his daughter who had just vomited on herself. I literally had to tell him step by step to go get her some clean clothes and then I had to calm her down because she had cried so much she was sick again. If you want to travel with kids, don't expect anyone else to do your parenting for you. Be happy when you get help, but know that it can't (and won't) always be there.


2) We know you're exhausted, and you want to sleep, but NEVER put baby on the floor to sleep. If you must, take turns sleeping while the other looks after baby. If you're a single parent, consider having a friend accompany you. It is not safe to put children on the floor to sleep, and it is NOT fair to expect the flight crew to entertain & supervise your children while you knock yourself out with a Valium. (Not to mention completely impractical if an emergency happens- sorry but your kid is going to end up alone if there's a fire or other emergency)


3) You might think your kids are cute, but after 16 hours no-one else will. Staring games are fun for a few minutes, but know when to make them stop. If other passengers are happy to interact with your kids, great! But please don't take this as a sign to dump the kids with your newfound friends for half the flight. Flight attendants are not there to babysit, but we WILL ask you to keep a handle on your kids if they're getting rowdy & noisy, or bothering other people. And please don't get angry if they do so- it generally takes a lot for us to step in and ask you to parent.

4) "Please keep seatbelts fastened until the seatbelt sign has been switched off" means- seatbelts. All of them. Yes even the mini one that the baby is wearing. Yes even the one your five year old is screaming about wearing. And yes, even the one that holds the car seat on even though the seat weighs 50 kilos it can. still. move. without. a seatbelt.

So many parents roll their eyes and tell me that "nothing is going to happen". Like the time a baggage tug overturned and one of the carts went flying in front of our taxiing aircraft, the pilots hit the brakes and unrestrained toddler, standing on a seat, went flying into the galley and split her face open. Sure nothing's going to happen on the ground.

And to the lady in 16E yesterday, I saw you toss your 9 month old up in the air, playing 'catch'- while we were still on the runway after landing.

The Glam But Exhausting Life of Cabin Crew... Plus Recurrent!

Ok, so my life isn't ALWAYS glam, but sure, some of the good things about my job, most people would consider 'glamorous'.

Glam- Wearing a nice uniform & having people look at you in the airport.

Not Glam- Wearing said uniform over a 6 day trip & having to wash bits of it in the sink (because hotel laundry is waaaaay too expensive to use on a daily basis)

Glam- Getting to see all sorts of interesting and cool places

Not Glam- Spending all of your layover in those interesting sleeping because you're so darn tired.

Glam- Serving in First & Business class, with all the high rollers, and using REAL glass, people!

Not Glam- Having to clean up the mess you'd be astounded to know people in Business & First class make.

Having said that, the good still outweighs the bad in my job, so until that changes, I'll stay. I've had some pretty good crews over the last few weeks. One flight, I flew with a guy who I only knew through other cabin crew friends, and who also regularly popped up on my Facebook updates & news feed. I knew he had made the switch to my airline, and I was glad to see his name on the crew list for a particularly icky red-eye flight. We had great fun, even managing to take a few happy snaps on our break. He's a real character, and so fun to work with. Plus, we are both single, so having fun scoping out boys for each other :P

My onboard managers have been really great too. Usually, they are a bit of a mixed bag, but lately all of them have either been brilliant, or managers who I really get along with. I wasn't feeling so great on a recent flight, so for the return leg (it was a turnaround) the supervisor let me take care of the premium passengers on my own, and went to work in economy on a cart. (Unheard of in some crew bases!!!)

I really enjoyed doing this, it reminded me of my days as a cabin senior, which sometimes I do miss. We also had a really good chat about our careers & he gave me some advice. Our company is shuffling some crew to new basings, and he said that he was hoping to stay as is, because he is settled where he is & enjoys living there. I hope it works out for him, he is a really lovely guy and someone who is a pleasure to fly with!

Had to make a trip to the doctor, as I started feeling dizzy and just generally blah. I figured either I was low in iron again, or tired. Turns out I was tired. Really didn't want to call sick as I needed my hours, but I had to, as I figure my health is more important than losing a day's worth of flying pay. It was nice to have a rest, and while I'm not 100% yet, I'm good enough to fly and I feel much better than I did.

I should mention during this whole process that I was in the middle of recurrent emergency training, so the added stress didn't help. I always freak out before SEP, but I needn't have worried; I got 100% on every test except one, where I got 98%, plus I did well on all of the practical assessments.

I even had to play the supervisor in one scenario, as there were no supervisors doing SEP in our group. It had changed a bit since the last time, as the company has had some new safety procedures in place, but it was good, as they make things much easier to remember and clearer what to do when there is a problem. Always a source of confidence.

The most interesting part I think was decompression, as we did this during ab-initio training, but they changed the simulator since then & it's much more realistic now. We had to simulate explosive decompression and the noise of the explosion scared me so much I actually jumped, even though I was expecting it!

Also it got very cold, and misted all through the cabin. The rushing air noise was quite realistic (imo) and the auto announcment kind of makes your adrenaline go! Cool though, because it means if it really does happen one day it won't be sooo scary because we have some idea what it is like. We also ran the decompression simulation with some of the crew incapacitated, so not only did we have to look after our 'passengers', but we had to assist the cockpit crew with getting one of their unconscious members onto oxygen.

Of course, a lot of the gossip lately is about Air France 447, and while we don't know the actual cause, and may never know exactly what brought it down, I do think that the weather played a big part.

It was weird, knowing that while I was flyiing merrily along, doing my job, they were potentially fighting for their lives. I'm sure the AF crew did everything they could to avoid the tragic outcome that we have all seen on tv. I hope they find the data recorders soon, so that the families can have a bit of peace knowing what really did happen.

Rest in Peace, crew & passengers of AF447.

(Pictures: Slide: Google Image Search, Oxygen: Seattle Times, Newspapers: LA Times.com, AF Crew: Airfrance.com)

EDIT Media are now reporting that the first of the lost passengers of AF447 have been recovered from the ocean. RIP :(

A Few Little Snaps & Tweaks...

Just a few snaps to share from various other flights, nothing too controversial, only things I found interesting out of the window. Mainly clouds, as some of you will know these are my favourite! Always different...


(Kind of just... gross...)


Thiis one was really pretty, flying away from the rising sun =)

I have made a few small tweaks to the blog, namely adding a few new blogs to the Airline Alliance, and fixing some out-of-date links to point to the new addresses for other blogs. I have also made a couple of posts to the Galley Curtain blog, so make sure if you're on the F&F list that you check it out if you haven't already. Have a cool slideshow of travels in there as well as some work gossip! =D



I'm currently on a few days of home reserve (yuck!) but at least it means I can get all those jobs like washing uniforms & vacuuming done. I also am updating my manuals for SEP next month, as well as doing to some research for a little idea that I am having. More on that later. Now, it's back to work for me!

Not Quite What You'd Expect...

I got this picture from a friend, it's an airline safety card. Now along with the usual safety info like slides, exits and liffejackets, it has the part which says no electronic devices & which items you can never have.

In the 'Prohibited' range are things like remote control cars, walkies talkies and certain toys. This airline has chosen a rather funny way of illustrating this:


Remember these cute, yet frustratingly annoying little bastards?


Now I'm not sure how many of them had to make it on board to annoy the hell out of the flight attendants to get banned, but I do know it had to be quite a few! (Joking- they are never allowed, and thank god for that!!)


Imagine Sydney to LA hearing "Furby doo-moh kkoh-koh A-tay!" the whole way over. It's enough to make one stab ones own eardrums with a first class fork!

When Communication Goes Bad

I stumbled across this story while browsing, about 3 US Airways flight attendants being sued by their First Officer for defamation. The reason? He feels that by reporting him for being reluctant to de-ice the plane that the FAs have defamed his professional character.

I feel that there is more to this story than is being reported. However, a couple of points can be taken from the story.

* No matter if the FAs were correct or not in asking for de-icing, they WERE DEFINITELY CORRECT in reporting their concerns to the flight crew

* Any pilot worth his/her salt will investigate a concern raised by any member of the crew

* In my opinion, the FO possibly didn't explain WHY he felt that de-icing was not necessary- I feel this is why the FAs were so insistent that something be done. (Also the FAs would have been well aware that the Canadian regs state that NO frost or ice may be present for takeoff- hence their insistence on repeating their concerns to the flight crew.)

* If the FO had not sued the flight attendants, no one would know about it! The FAA had ruled inconclusive on the case, therefore why should he think there would be any damage to his reputation? No accusations of wrongdoing were made by the FAA.

* I am very lucky in that in my years of flying I have NEVER been turned away with ANY concern by ANY member of a cockpit crew. I hope I never will, either.

As with anything reported in the media, take it with a grain of salt, as I'm sure there is more to it, but the reminder is the same. If FAs feel concern for the safety of the flight, SPEAK UP!!! And Flight Crew- if you feel the concern is invalid, don't just say, 'Oh it will be fine' - tell the FAs WHY it will be 'fine'.

Then maybe we can avoid this type of situation altogether.

Nightmare flight...

Ok so I know I said I'd post about my last few flights, but first I wanted to get this sucker out of my head. With the summer heat, plus odd working hours, I've not been sleeping too well lately. One of the usual side effects of crap sleep, plus hot weather, is my having very weird, very whacked-out dreams.

Now most flight attendants at some point (usually during training school, and usually during Emergency Procedures/SEPs/etc) have a dream/nightmare involving some emergency situation.

Every so often, after a bad day at work, I'll have another one. But the one I had last night was a beauty!

Usually in these dreams (nightmares), I'm a crew member, going about my business, and then it all hits the fan. This time I recall sitting in a passenger seat. We were arriving back into Sydney and then we must have hit something, because I very clearly remember receiving an almighty crack on the head from hitting the seat in front of me. It's so weird that in a dream one feels pain (well at least I do) and boy did I! It hurt like hell!

Then I could hear other crew calling out as the plane stopped, yelling the commands we know by rote. I remember in the dream that I tried to join in, only the words weren't coming out right. It was like being drunk, or I suppose, when someone's had a stroke. My mouth couldn't make the sounds right. I got really scared when I tried to get up and one side of my body wouldn't co-operate. I remember then being at the front of the aircraft and a crew member handed me a life jacket. I tried to put it on but was so clumsy and my right hand wouldn't work, so I kept dropping it. Then all of a suddem, I saw my SEP trainer, with a clipboard. He kept yelling at me that I wasn't saying the words correctly. I was trying to explain my brain wasn't getting the message to my mouth. It was WAY weird!!!

I think at that point I must have realised I was dreaming, because I laughed and then I woke up. All I can imagine is that one side of my body must have gt pins and needles from my sleeping position which prompted the part in the dream where I couldn't move.

Very weird!!!

So fellow FA's, c'mon, hit me with your recurring SEP nightmare...

Putting the 'Possible' in Impossible...

Well, the day has come that everyone said would never happen.

The crew of a modern commercial airliner has managed to succesfully ditch (land on water) the aircraft, with all on board surviving, no less.

(Picture by grego! on Flickr!)

US Airways Flight 1549 apparently hit a flock of geese shortly after takeoff and suffered a double flameout (engine failure). With nowhere to go, the pilots apparently decided to avoid the downtown area and attempt a ditching on the river.


A job well done by the pilots, cabin crew, ferry staff and bystanders in assisting, and of course from the early reports huge kudos to the passengers for remaining relatively calm and doing as directed in a very alarming situation!

You can see them here, standing on the wing awaiting rescue by boats which I've read were on the scene within two minutes- must have seemed a lifetime in that cold water!


The plane stayed afloat for a good 50 minutes, I always suspected that with the right conditions (and a bit of luck) that this could be achieved.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... pay attention to that safety briefing... this could well be what saves your life, as it has for these lucky passengers and crew of US Airways 1549.

Well done crew!

Rock'n'Rollin'

Reading other FA blogs, and talking to fellow crew- it's not just me. It really HAS been unusually bumpy in the skies this last week. First up we had a short sector where we sat down almost the whole way, and couldn't feed anyone or serve any drinks.


Many of my fellow crew also reported it being unusually bumpy on their flights as well. We had a tremendous bout of turbulence out of Sydney, big enough that we had to sit in between passenger's feet and hold on to the seats! (This is a common procedure for us if there are no empty passenger seats, and we are unable to get safely back to crew jumpseats.)

Later on the captain told us that he suspected we'd run into the wake of another aircraft.

Yesterday en-route to Brisbane we again had long periods of sustained bumpy travel, to the point it was impossible to walk and coffee slopped out of the pots in their holders.

The Sydney Morning Herald had an article about a woman injured on a Virgin Blue flight when the crew were thrown suddenly sideways and hot water was spilled over her lap. It sounds like the crew did all they could, after all, they can hardly tak her to the galley and give first aid if that would put them in danger. Unfortunately it wasn't safe to get up or let the passenger get up, so in my opinion they did the right thing.

This was the culprit on our flight yesterday:


So, just as a reminder passengers- even if it's smooth as the baby's bum up there, keep your seatbelt on when you're sitting down- it can't hurt, in fact, leaving your seatbelt off is what hurts. If the pilots do it, then isn't it a good indication that we all should too? And yes, I mean you crew, too. All the times you're sitting in the back galley eating your meal (well, wolfing it down is much more likely) But the times you DO get to sit, just remember... we're not in an office here, and it COULD happen. So please look after yourselves out there, we all want to get home in one piece.

In other news, I'm in love:

I wanted these shoes but sadly they didn't have my size... *sniffle*

Amen...! Cabin safety IS important!

There was quite a heated discussion on a well-known airline internet forum regarding the pre-flight safety demonstration and whether it was necessary for passengers to pay attention. One poster was saying that because he had 'seen it all before' and travelled 'all of the time' that he didn't need to watch it any more.

Then along came this priceless post, to which all I can say is, "Amen!!!!". There is a reason we ask you to watch, and when we say that aircraft may differ slightly, we MEAN it!!! Even the same type of plane in my airline can be completely different from each other with regards to layout.

Read it for yourself, it's priceless!!! =)


Taken from PPrune.org:


Poster One quoted by later poster:
How do you know? Give me a link to that stats, please. I still believe it is mainly a matter of luck. Sorry. I do understand the importance of the briefing and all the safety procedures but you clearly exaggerate it here.

Poster 2:

Passengers such as yourself are a big part of the reason that crew might have some contept for the passenger; willful ignorance. Whether you believe it's "luck" or not, the briefing is being given by those who know and believe otherwise, and who are required by law to provide that briefing. Once you buy a ticket on that flight, you agree to the premise that you will follow and obey the directions of the crew who hold authority on that flight. You're subject to the direction of the crew, whether you like it or not. That direction starts with a simple briefing which is not entertainment, is not for your pleasure, but to save your life and the lives of those around you.

Let's say that as the cabin floods you panic and forget that you shouldn't inflate your vest until outside the cabin. I've seen it happen, even in training in dunk tanks and in the water...people in a hurry to fall back on basic instinct...they inflate the vest. Now you're bulky, now you have a hard time making it to the exit, and if the cabin is really flooding, you're held back by the boyant vest...and you're blocking everyone else. Not only will you likely drown, but also the people you're blocking...your ignorance and disbelief has just killed someone. Possibly a lot of someone's.

You flew on a Boeing last. Now you're on an airbus. You like the overwing exit aisle; it's got foot room. A rejected takeoff, there's a fire. Time to go. You didn't review the briefing; you know it by heart. But it's not in the forefront of your mind...the real reason it's given every time...and now you're trying to open the door the wrong way. Does this one flip up and out? Is it a door I set in the seat, or twist and throw out? I know it by heart...but how does this one work?

You're seated at the back of the airplane, in a DC-9. Just after takeoff you feel a roll and a drop and a bang, and next thing everyone is screaming and clambering as the aircraft shakes, smoke enters the cabin, masks and luggage drop, the fuselage starts to roll, and a bright orange glow is seen off one side of the airplane. As the aircraft comes to a rest, you've seen it all, heard it all, know it all...now it's all on you, the expert traveler who won't listen unless it's a pretty girl, to get the exit open. Do you know how to do that? Do you know how to jettison the tailcone? It's different on this airplane...but you know that because you're an expert traveler that doesn't need to listen, right? Or will an airplane full or terrified passengers die behind you as you try to figure outs, the exit in the dark, in the smoke, and on fire?

The aircraft floats, but as you go out the exit and into the cold water, looking for a raft that another passenger who didn't bother to listen was unable to inflate...you find that you successfully brought your seat cushion with you as a flotation device. Good for you. Except everyone else is wearing a life vest, and you're not. You didn't listen...this airplane was equipped with life vests and you're the only one who's going to be floating holding on to a water logged seat cushion for the next six hours. Way to go.

You've heard it before, you know that when the captain turns on the fasten seatbelts sign, you should put it on...but let's get real. You've had hundreds, if not thousands of hours in flight without any problem. How bad could it be, right? They wouldn't have served coffee and soda if it was going to be bad, right? Never mind that turbulence can slam you against the ceiling and break your back or neck, or throw you right out of your seat...you don't need to listen to the briefing or the cabin anouncements...you're smarter and more experienced than the crew, the manufacturer, the airline, the experts who wrote the briefing cards and the briefings...all of them. After all, you're a passenger.

Sure, in the briefing they tell you no smoking in the lavatory...but it's one cigarette, and you know that the airflow goes out the toilet...so what's wrong with that? Right? Other than fatalities that have resulted from not listening. Other than your impending arrest. Other than a crew getting an alarm and diverting to another airport. But you don't worry about it. You've heard the briefings, and it's all just a show, anyway. Right?

You can use your cell phone. The crew wouldn't know the difference. You're just texting your buddy to tell him you'll be late...as always...because the stupid airline can't seem to get you there on time. They wasted time with the briefing...which you know by heart...instead of getting the show on the road and getting you here. It's their fault, so you're justified in using your phone, right? Never mind that we can hear it in the cockpit over our headphones (you didn't know that, did you?), that it can interfere with navigational equipment and electronics (didn't know that either, did you?), and that there's a reason you're told in the briefing to turn it off.

We've come to a rest, but the cabin is full of smoke. They're calling for an evacuation, or something like that...don't really know because you don't listen to the cabin announcements...it's all just a show anyway...but there's so much smoke, eyes are burning, choking, must breathe. Can't see the exits now, which way is the front of the airpalne? Everybody is pushing and shoving, can't see the seats. Too much smoke. Everybody's fighting to go some direction, and some are crawling over the seatbacks. Every man for himself. They didn't listen to the briefing either. How to find an exit? Never mind that this aircraft has lighted floor signals directing you to an exit...that was in the brieifing...but that's all just for show.

The aircraft has come to a complete stop. Don't know what was wrong, but everyone's moving for the exites. We've been told to evacuate the airplane...gotta get that brief case. It's got important papers in it. Everyone else can wait two ticks...this is important. You're not going to let it burn up in the airplane. Yes, the briefing told you to leave all your belongings behind and proceed to the nearest exit, but not you. You don't need someone who's just there to look pretty and put on a show telling you how to do business; you're an expert, and a veteran traveller. You're going to take your bag with you. Possibly cut open the slide on the way down, possibly get stuck in the door way. Possibly have to discard it when the flight attendant takes it from you by the exit to expedite your egress (to save your life, you see)...but it's all about you. You're taking back the authority granted to the crew and keeping it for yourself. You know more than anyone else. You didn't listen to the briefing, don't want to hear it. You're taking your things and that's it. Too bad someone will die because the slide was punctured, or you were too slow in the door with your things, or others saw you grabbing your things and followed your poor example and did the same...but at least you'll have your bags and briefcase.

Sure, the briefing always tells you to put your tray tables and seatbacks in an upright position. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it all before, yesterdays' news. Don't need to hear it again. Come on, for crying out loud. It's just a few inches of seat travel, it's not going to be the end of the world if you forget, right? Never mind that your seat was designed for impact with the seatback upright and locked, or that the tray table could do irreparable damage to you, or that your seat being back might prevent an egress by the people behind you, or that there may be any number of other reasons for it...you don't believe it, you think it's all for show, and you know more, right?

Wrong. You committed to listening to the briefing when you bought your ticket, and you committed to honoring and following that briefing as part of your contract with the airline as a passenger; it comes with the ticket. Your failure to listen carefully and obey places everyone at risk.

Now, as a veteran traveller you don't need to listen. We get it. You know more than anyone else. And you demand statistics to prove there's some reason you should listen. I'm not going to give you statistics. I will tell you that I'm a traveller too, as well as a reasonably experienced pilot and crewmember. I've had the additional benefit of emergency training, on aircraft and other venues...as this isn't my only career path. I was a firefighter for years, dealing with emergencies ranging from car fires to structure fires to extricating people who were trapped. I've been in the real thing many times, burning cars, burning aircraft, burning houses. I was a medic, and have been in the real situation on plenty of occasions where lives really do depend on doing what one is told. As a pilot I've been in an air crash, and I can tell you it's NOT academic, and certainly NOT a show. I've been in dunk tanks, been through company training in the water, putting out fires...all the hands-on training. I've been an instructor. I've been instructed. I hold multiple pilot, crew, and mechanic certificates, and have been around airplanes since I was a kid, mostly employed to fly them and work on them and protect them.

Know what? Every time I get on the airplane as a passenger...any airplane from a Cessna to a Boeing to an Airbus...I listen to the briefing, very carefully. I give my full attention, every bit of it. I remove the safety briefing card and read it. I reach for and feel for the life vest. Make sure my seat is upright, my cell off, and I count the seatbacks to every exit in the airplane so I can find them without looking. I note the distances as well as the obstacles, and make a note of how to do it if the aircraft is upside down and I'm on the ceiling. I make sure my seat belt isn't twisted, note the oxygen cover panels on the ceiling, ensure everything is secured and under the seat in front...and I pay attention. Even if it's multiple legs in one day. Perhaps you're such a veteran that you don't need to do these things...perhaps you know more than I do, more than the crew does, more than the flight attendant who is paid to be there to save your life, more than the airline, more than airbus or boeing or the company that wrote your safety briefing card, more than the designers of the airplane and the emergency equipment that's in it...but I really don't think so.

When I was eighteen and crop dusting, I flew behind a man who had been operating the same three airplanes for the last fifteen years. The airplanes were seemingly identical, save for the color of their paint. We had a yellow one, an orange one, and a blue one. Lain flew the blue one, except for today. He would be in the yellow airplane. As we held short of the runway doing our runup, Lain took extra time, and I grew impatient. I asked about the holdup. Finally when he was ready, we went flying. He took off, I took off, and we went to the fields.

Lain flew a little wider turns, not quite as aggressive, and I followed his lead. When we got back, I asked him what took so long. He told me that even though the airplane was seemingly identical, and even though he'd been flying the same airplanes for fifteen years and many thousands of hours, he recognized that he was intimately familiar with the blue airplane...and now was in a different airframe. It might stall a little differently, fly a little differently; bottom line, even though he was certainly an expert, he took nothing for granted, and took a little more time to familiarize himself, brief himself if you will, on the "new" airplane...the one he'd already flown for thousands of hours and many years. Perhaps it's just experience that teaches some of us that we don't know it all, that care and caution are prudent, and that a briefing really is worth something.

Here, we talk about arrogant pilots, but what I'm reading about are arrogant passengers...one who knows it all, has seen it all, and doesn't need the "show" or the repetition. I can tell you I haven't seen it all yet, but I can guarantee I've seen a whole lot more than you. I find it very important to sit and listen to the briefing each and every time. What's your excuse, again?