And Baby Makes Fee...

With all the extra fees being added on to airline tickets these days, it seems that everyone is looking to get the best deal. (Aside from the fact that booking a lo-co ticket is always going to mean 'add-on' fees)

One area where this seems to be the case is parents travelling with babies. I was researching other subjects but came across some information which prompted me to write this post.

It seems that some parents are reluctant to cough up the extra cash to buy another seat and bring a baby seat on the plane with them. With airfares getting cheaper and cheaper, I just don't understand this. It's like saying, the baby seat weighs more so the car uses more petrol, let's not bother with that today'. If you wouldn't take your baby in the car unrestrained, then you definitely shouldn't be flying with it unrestrained, either.

In Australia, the laws require lap-held children up to the age of 2 years to make use of the infant seat belt. Parents may also take the option of buying another seat for a car seat for the child. There are certain devices out there, designed by US companies, for use in the United States, that can be used for older childen, or in once case used by babies as well. The thing to remember with these gadgets is, they may not be approved for use in countries outside of the US. For example, the Baby B'Air would not be allowed on Australian carriers, because the law mandates use of the infant seat belt. It doesn't matter that you prefer your own device, or that 'I can hold onto my baby'- the law says the seatbelt must be used, and baby could be on the ceiling before you even know there is turbulence! So it pays to check where your device can and can't be used.

(For the record, the CARES child restraint harness can be used on most Australian carriers)

Here's a few other "travel don'ts" when you're in the air with kids:

1. DON'T expect flight crew to babysit, clean up after or otherwise provide for your children. Most of the time, we're happy to help, but as a parent, your child is your responsibility. Have extra snacks on hand, just in case your child doesn't like the airline food. Bring plenty of milk or formula if that is what they drink- we have limited milk supplies and usually no formula on board and delays do happen.

I remember being extrememly disgusted with one father when he was more interested in finishing his Jack & Coke than cleaning up his daughter who had just vomited on herself. I literally had to tell him step by step to go get her some clean clothes and then I had to calm her down because she had cried so much she was sick again. If you want to travel with kids, don't expect anyone else to do your parenting for you. Be happy when you get help, but know that it can't (and won't) always be there.


2) We know you're exhausted, and you want to sleep, but NEVER put baby on the floor to sleep. If you must, take turns sleeping while the other looks after baby. If you're a single parent, consider having a friend accompany you. It is not safe to put children on the floor to sleep, and it is NOT fair to expect the flight crew to entertain & supervise your children while you knock yourself out with a Valium. (Not to mention completely impractical if an emergency happens- sorry but your kid is going to end up alone if there's a fire or other emergency)


3) You might think your kids are cute, but after 16 hours no-one else will. Staring games are fun for a few minutes, but know when to make them stop. If other passengers are happy to interact with your kids, great! But please don't take this as a sign to dump the kids with your newfound friends for half the flight. Flight attendants are not there to babysit, but we WILL ask you to keep a handle on your kids if they're getting rowdy & noisy, or bothering other people. And please don't get angry if they do so- it generally takes a lot for us to step in and ask you to parent.

4) "Please keep seatbelts fastened until the seatbelt sign has been switched off" means- seatbelts. All of them. Yes even the mini one that the baby is wearing. Yes even the one your five year old is screaming about wearing. And yes, even the one that holds the car seat on even though the seat weighs 50 kilos it can. still. move. without. a seatbelt.

So many parents roll their eyes and tell me that "nothing is going to happen". Like the time a baggage tug overturned and one of the carts went flying in front of our taxiing aircraft, the pilots hit the brakes and unrestrained toddler, standing on a seat, went flying into the galley and split her face open. Sure nothing's going to happen on the ground.

And to the lady in 16E yesterday, I saw you toss your 9 month old up in the air, playing 'catch'- while we were still on the runway after landing.

The Exorcist- Or, Kevin Really Didn't Like His Dinner

There's so much to blog about since I last did an in-depth post, that I don't really know where to begin.

So, let's start with every crewmember's favourite- Vomit. (Note- this post is not for the squeamish- so read at your own risk)

It all began fairly normally. The flight was a cross-country red-eye. We started out with a bbit of a delay in the terminal, which of course the passengers loved at that time of night. Most of them were ok, and boarding for once went pretty quickly, with only a few of the usual hiccups that happen on a widebody plane when it's full in back AND front. Of course there were one or two of the 'I fly all the time & I ALWAYS have four bags with me' type, but I handballed that one to the gate agents, as I feel they need more practise at this issue in this port, and need to stop leaving it for me to deal with!

The flight was absolutely chockers in economy, with a few passengers not happy that they didn't get their preferred seats. The good thing is, each boarding pass shows a 'sequence number', which tells us how far down the queue they checked in. So the ones who try to fib and say they checked in early, when we know they were 3rd last on a full Boeing, don't get far with the complaints when we tell them we know they checked in after all the aisle & window seats were gone. Sure, you hate that seat, but SOMEONE has to get it, and you were number #257 to check in. Sorry buddy.

We got through the service, which consists of a cart service serving hot meals & drinks, followed along by the tea & coffee. Lots of wine drinkers on this flight. Usually are a lot on red-eye flights, particularly on cross-country flights, because the drinks are free. Some of course try to take advantage, and ask 6 different crew for the same drink, but we are on to that! :p

After the service, we turned down the lights so people could sleep. I had done a water & juice round with one of the other crew, and I was just leaving the mid galley curtains to go to the aft galley when a kid came running up the aisle toward me. At first, I thought Kevin was just being one of those kids who has to run around the plane annoying people. As the kid got closer though, I could see he was crying. My next thought was 'lost child'- happens all the time on such big planes.

Then I noticed Kevin was crying AND holding something rather disgusting. Yep- Kevin's cupped hands were full of vomit (EW). One look at Kevin & I knew the vomit volcano was about to blow. No way was I letting that kid get in the galley to puke his little guts all over our crew haven- we still had a good 4 hours to go!

I whipped Kevin around quick smart and pushed him towards the lavs, telling him "Go to the toilet, quickly mate!" As we rushed back down the aisle, Kevin could contain it no more.


Bleeeeeuaaaaarghhhhhhh..... all over row 34. I grab his head and hold it down so any more spew goes on the floor, and not on my unfortunate pax, who look as though they are about to do the same. It's like one of these dreams where you're running but getting nowhere- the lav looks a thousand miles away, and Kevin is still puking for all he's worth. The pax sit there like stunned deer, not hearing or ignoring my demands to give me a sick bag. Fine- we soldier on, and finally get to the lav, only it's locked. I whip Kevin inboard, towards the disabled lav, which, thank god, is blissfully empty. Ufortunately, he throws up right as I do this, so the crossover & a good portion of the floor at Doors 3 is covered in sick. I fling open the door & the lid of the toilet right as Kevin goes again- except instead of doing as I thought, Kevin considerately decides to throw up in the basin instead. Guess we can consider this bathroom useless for the rest of the flight. Poor engineer, well someone has to get the chunks out of the drain right?

I leave him to it, and pop my head around the bulkheead, ding a call bell 3 times, and when I see a crew's face appear around the rear galley curtain, I hold up my hands & wave my fingers, mouthing the word GLOVES!!

The other crew arrive brandishing gloves & antiseptic wipes. One goes off in search of Kevin's parents, while the other cheerfully informs me that 15 rows worth of the plane aisle is covered in the remnants of Kevin's supper. Lovely. Just then a rather steamed frequent flyer decides to tell me I am not doing my job because the aisle is full of vomit. I apologise and explain that my hands are rather full. Right at that moment, Kevin emerges from the toilet and pukes all over the guy's shoes.

Have to give the little tacker a 10/10, I haven't seen that much sick come from one person ever, much less a 5 year old. I don't know, he must have eaten more than his dinner to end up like that!

In hindsight, it was kind of funny.